Helen (former Muslim)
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Testimony of Leaving Islam
I was born an Iraqi Muslim and grew up in a moderate Muslim environment hearing the horror stories about hell, endless torture and burning, angels on both sides of your shoulders - one is writing your good deeds and the other bad deeds, and other magic things that are hard for a logical human mind to accept. I remember when I was in Primary School sitting down in the classroom in terror, thinking to myself: What if judgment day is tomorrow? What if judgment day is next hour and I would go to hell? It’s a total brain poison for little children.
In my early teens, I started wondering more and more. I read ( asma2 allah ilhusna) and started wondering: Why would god praise himself so much? God shouldn’t be a show off; he can't be vain! Also I must mention a few things that put me off most at that time. One of them is the inheritance law - which gives male siblings twice as much as female siblings. I thought that was extremely unfair. Also the four-marriages for men that is allowed in Islam, Islam's violence in punishment (cut this, chop that etc.).
I started being pretty sure that Islam is a fake. Muhammad did it the profit. He fooled everyone. So I started to explore different options to myself. I explored Christianity, went to Sunday school to learn more. I found no lasting peace, only the same magical stories, heaven / hell and so on. So finally I decided that I better find a different path for myself. I wanted to use my own brain to examine facts and weigh them. I came to a conclusion that there is no God: male or female God. If there was something, it might be a higher power. I traveled to Japan a few times and I explored Buddhism. They have always emphasized to me that Buddhism is not a religion. It’s a WAY OF LIFE. That description set very well with me. And I started learning more.
I started meditating to clear my mind and create peace within. I started to have a peaceful approach to situations in life. And I grew a lot of compassion towards people with negative attitude. My hope for everybody is just to use your own mind/brain to examine all facts that are presented to them. Don’t be afraid to challenge ideologies that have been taught to you since you were born. If there is a GOD... He/She would be very happy to see the human race use their minds, with which He/She has endowed His/Her human creation most richly. He/She must be fascinated, not infuriated, by the fact that the brain He/She has given to human beings may even question His/Her existence and logically analyze things to unravel the truth of the Universe, including Himself/Herself.
Ask you self: If there is god What would he/she do? I am sure he/she is not in need for people to wash up and pray for him 5 times days to praise him/her. He/She would rather have them do some thing positive to improve their lives: plant a tree, clean the house or send flower to a sick friend and so on. Ask your self. Don’t be afraid. God is not watching you. God is in you.
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