KD75018 (Former Muslim)
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Testimony of Leaving Islam
I am a 22-year-old-man. I was born in France from African immigrants’ parents, in a strict Muslim family. I was Muslim by default like many other of you; I was praying 5 times a day, fasting since I was 7 years old, reading Quran…. I practiced Islam since my childhood until my 1st year of the equivalent of Higher National Diploma in France, when I was 19. I have thought that Islam was the right way to go to “heaven” even when I was reading the Quran in French version; I had never questioned if the verses were really humane, correct or not.
My father tried to make me learn Arabic language but fortunately he gave up to this idea with me and my brothers.
I had several shocks and experiences that have led me to question about Islam; at that time I was 19:
1st experience: when I was going to another country apart my country of origin, on March 2009.
It was my first trip to London with the school. I experienced drinking and eating non-halal food. I expected to be punished for what I did but I see nothing coming, so it was great! I hadn’t continued this experience when I came back to France because of my previous fear of what other people would think about me;
2nd experience (REAL shock): when I was told to repeat my 1st year of HND on May 2009.
It was the 1st time I have to repeat a class and I was very uncomfortable. Just before the class council I pray Allah to make me pass my class; it didn’t work AT ALL!
Furthermore, when I felt very bad in my soul, my family especially my mother made me want to go to suicide myself ! She said to me that “I was the shame of my own family, that I was a coward with no brain, etc.”, it made me really sick ! I was nearly going to suicide myself ! Even when you are in real sh!t you can’t count on your own family. Fortunately some real friends prevented me to do such stupid thing.
At that time I was in a “yo-yo” period, when I pray sometimes and I didn’t pray other times. I have experienced eating pork meat for the 1st time and I really appreciated that, however I didn’t pursue this experience.
3rd experience (2nd REAL Shock): in July 2011.
I was curious about the story of my African ancestors. I found a stuff which led me to really question Islam: the Islamic slavery on Africa and on other parts of the world.
I was very angered when I discovered that my ancestors were conversed to Islam by sword ! Then I continued my researches on that subject until now (I am always researching documents, books and discovering the real history of Islam).
4th experience: from November 2011.
I was really fed up with praying 5 times a day and fasting. Praying 5 times a day for what ?? Then I ask question about praying so many times. I talked with some Muslims and imams. They say that a man who does good things but who doesn’t do his prayers 5 times a day will go to hell. Will go to hell??? Because he hadn’t do his salah?? I answer that it’s very absurd, cruel, hatred and unfair for them ! The Muslims seems to be ok with that but not me: at that time I give up doing the prayers 5 times a day because I think that if there is a God, he will not send me in hell only for not praying 5 times a day if he’s logic.
5th experience (Shock):
I tried to question my parents about rituals in Islam, why we must do it, for what purpose. She asked me why I ask questions and the only thing she said to me was “learn Islam so you can improve your knowledge on it and make your own interpretation”. This answer never make me feel comfortable with my mind because the more I learn about Islam, the more I see that this religion and its ideology were very very restrictive in a human being’s living. For instance, a Muslim must eat halal food, must pray 5 times a day, must fasting (what the **** about fasting? It’s the period where I take many weights!), mustn’t eat pork, mustn’t drink alcohol, mustn’t draw portrays of animals or persons (WTF again, I LIKE drawing anything, this is my passion!), mustn’t play or listen music, mustn’t have sex before marriage….I see that the Shariah law controls everything in your life, form the private to the public! Islam is a very restrictive way of life!
6th last experience (LAST REAL SHOCK): from April 2012:
I decided from that time to leave Islam. It was not without consequences:
I knew that to get rid of Islam would change many things, not only in my relationship with others but in my way of life:
For example, in my social circle, all Islamic fanatics, not happy to see me leave Islam, were furiously angry against me, insulting me of all things possible before leaving and cut ties with me.
There's a former best-friend, a Muslim with whom I hung out since middle (or medium) school who tried to convince me to stay in Islam by all means necessary, but before my implacable thought of leaving the religion he has failed and then he considered that he has nothing to say to me; he doesn’t consider me to be one of his friends anymore since my leaving of Islam.
All these fanatics I have been with during my school years I let them and they get out of my life, knowing the fact that they wanted at any cost to impose to me their religious proselytizing when I decided to leave Islam.
Voilà for my experiences, I hope to not be so long.
Now I feel lighter, as if I had got rid of a burden that I carry from my birth, which was this religion that I had not chosen.
I consider myself, at this moment (May 2012) to be an agnostic, or a humanist; and I am now a fan of bacon meat!
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