Pious Pirate (Former Muslim)
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Testimony of Leaving Islam
The timeline of me leaving Islam is rather long. I was born in Karachi to a rather secular Muslim dad and a partially religious mom. We lived in Saudi Arabia for the first 7 years of my life. It was quite the typical Muslim child experience for me as there was regular schooling as well as Islamic studies in school. Also at home, I read the Quran in Arabic with a tutor. I would not say there was any contribution to me leaving Islam from those days. We moved to America when I was 8. I could say that some causes of me leaving Islam had a lot to do with being in America. I was in New Jersey, a very diverse state. This was the first time I was surrounded by so many non Muslims in my life. I remember how little someone's religion mattered to me at that time. Religion was almost never a thought in my mind at that time. Even in Sunday School, I totally ignored it. I can't think of a conscious reason for me being so distant from my religion. Now that I think about it, it could've been that I had a hard time taking it seriously because of the random irrational rules of Islam.
When we moved to from New Jersey to Chicago religion became more prominent in my life. My mom's side of family was here and was significantly more religious than what we were used to. I became more annoyed by Islam because of the whole halal/haram type of Muslims who constantly judge. I entered another stage of ignoring religion by telling myself that I was being exposed to a false brand of Islam and that Allah and Islam is better than how Muslims act. I decided that I will find Islam later in life through independent reason. This stage of ignoring religion went on until the last year of undergraduate studies in university. I should add this includes "spiritual" religion was ignored not political religion. I was very much interested in Palestine/Israel issues, war on terror, and others.
During my last year in college I entered an accelerated stage of questions and answers about Islam. I started reading the Quran in English on my own. I was reading through biased eyes and would praise the nice things and ignore questionable verses. Then I graduated college and had more time to learn Islam deeper. I was entering a stage of confusion when I wondered what the true message could be when the 2 translations I was reading was so conflicting. I decided to resolve such confusion by approaching Islam the same way I approached my math and engineering courses in school; critical thinking. I believed that science was just God's laws that us humans were able to figure out through God given reason, logic and courageous critical thinking. Applying this strategy to understanding Islam actually shattered it to pieces. I couldn't believe how much worse the Quran seemed when I applied critical thinking sincerely to the quran, honestly seeking the truth. I figured Critical thinking brought about truth in the natural sciences, it should in religion too. It didn't. I looked more around the Internet for critical thinking in Islam and saw that most of it was critical against Islam. There was never any critical thinking to promote exclusive Islamic teachings, instead critical thinking in rejecting other superstitious religions. The only way exclusive Islamic teachings were taught was through "iman" or faith not critical thinking (hajj, 5 prayers, Ramadan, various random rules). Nothing in Islam that is truly valued by mankind is exclusive to Islam. It can be arrived at through other world-views and mindsets (justice, humility, love, brotherhood, freedom).
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