Arsalan (Former Muslim)
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Testimony of Leaving Islam
I was born in a Muslim family in Punjab, Pakistan. I lived and studied in Pakistan for the first 22 years of my life, after which I moved to Ireland for higher Education.
The first doubts in my mind started rising at an earlier age, as I have always had a very questioning mind, and if something doesn’t seem right I question it. I was in O-Levels and Islamiat was a compulsory subject, and one day our teacher told us, “Muslims will have the only right to heaven. Even the Muslims who have sinned will go to heaven eventually after paying for their sins.” I asked the teacher, “But we are only Muslims because we were born into a Muslim family, so what is the fault of other kids born elsewhere?” She replied, “You should not question what the Holy Prophet has said.” That exchange left an impression, and after that I became skeptical of anything that did not make sense.
This thought process was further strengthened by my uncle when he put his own thoughts to words and I realized I was thinking more or less along the same lines as him. It was not only my uncle’s book, it was reasoning and common sense that led me to believe in what I now believe. The hypocrisy and brutalities of Islam further forced me away from it. I not only typed my uncle’s book, I believed every word of it, and once my last sibling got married and begun her independent life, I started tweeting about my religious beliefs.
9/11 happened while I was attending an institution in Lahore. I could not believe what I was seeing on live television. The next day when I went over to the institution I saw students laughing and hugging each other in joy and calling the 9/11 terrorists warriors of God. That made me sick to my stomach and I refused to shake hands with a guy who came over to congratulate me. He asked me, “what’s wrong?” I said, “this whole country is wrong.” That was not the end of it, one of the teachers commenced his lecture with a big smile and said, “It is a great day for Islam, a great victory for us.”
I stood up and asked him what makes him say that. He replied, “America has been tormenting Muslims for ages and this will show them God defends Muslims.” I said, “Firstly it was not God who did that, it was a bunch of brainwashed men. And how exactly does the tormenting of Muslims link up with the innocent thousands who died in the 9/11 attacks?” He then dedicated the whole lecture to explaining and reciting verses of the Quran to justify those attacks. That raised another issue in my mind.
Up until then I had not studied the Quran in detail and I was still under some sort of the impression that the book was a valid source of God's words. However, after hearing what our professor had to say, I went home and started reading through a translation. I wondered why the Surahs allegedly revealed in Makkah have no issues with non Muslims, dictate peace and the ‘live and let live’ philosophy, but as soon as we move over to the Madni Surahs, it’s all about “kill non believers until they believe” and “if your women disobey you admonish them and beat them”. It began to dawn on me that this cannot be the word of God, and that was the day when I decided Islam is not what I am going to waste my life and spiritual beliefs.
I believe that like all other humans I have the right to be open about my beliefs and not have to fear for my life in bringing out my inner thoughts. Why did wars have to be fought to spread Islam? I know the answer, “to free those nation's people of oppression”... and what followed under Muslim rule wasn't oppression? One word out of line and your limbs are cut off. I refuse to believe in such a religion. A religion which denies the right of reasoning and free thought.
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