Farhan (former Muslim)
| |||||||||||||||||||||||
Testimony of Leaving Islam
I come from a very religious family and leaving Islam was very difficult for me. I wasn't just a cultural Muslim like most people...I was extremely religious, in that I really believed that Islam was the one true religion, and the Quran was the perfect word of God. I had a beard, would wear Islamic clothing as much as I could, would pray all night, and would only associate with Muslims. I wouldn't doubt anything and would get upset when people insulted Islam or made fun of it in any way. I would spend a lot of time reading translations of the Quran (I could read Arabic but didn't understand it, like the majority of Muslims) As I read, I would find verses that I found disturbing and contradictory...so I wrote them down and consulted a local Imam at my Mosque. At first he was happy to answer them, but his answers were usually some form of "God says it, we don't question it" or some illogical explanation that made absolutely no sense. (example: non-believers are rewarded in this world for their good deeds. Then why do so many of them suffer so much? Answer: Their rewards are things we all take for granted, like eyesight, and their health... what?)
As I kept going back to him for answers, his mood changed. I got the same bs responses from other scholars. My doubts increased more and more, and I was able to see the obvious flaws in all of it. The Prophet Muhammad marrying a 9 year old girl when he was in his 50s, and having marital relations with her. The fact that he had 11 wives at once, and would sleep with all of them in one night. It was mind boggling that Muslims could claim that this man was the best man who ever lived and the ideal role model for men. There was just so much wrong...the contradictions in the descriptions of God, the demonizing of non-Muslims in the Quran, I could never accept that good non-Muslims deserved to go to hell...the verses against women, a man can beat his wife, two women count as one man as a witness, most women are in hell for not obeying their husbands, the many violent, hateful verses, and so on. I saw Islam for what it really was, nothing more than an extremely flawed human creation...It was like waking from a dream.
I tried expressing my doubts to my family, but they would get emotional discussing it. After many heated arguments, and reflection on what I want my future to be...I decided that I couldn't live a lie and moved out. Life is good now. I'm more happy now than I ever was. I still keep in touch with my family, but we don't see each other as often. Recently my older sister stated openly that she doesn't buy any of it either, and stopped wearing the scarf...we talk all the time and she told me that she knew Islam didn't make sense long before me, but never said anything for fear of ridicule and being outcast. I've never seen any good evidence for any religion or for the existence of a personal God. It's all man made. It's a good sign that so many people are leaving Islam altogether or becoming more secular. The world is changing fast. People are no longer being politically correct and are telling the necessary truth.
Add Your Testimony | Other Apostates | Core Article | Qur'an, Hadith & Scholars | Resources | Helpful Hints
