Farsideology: Lesson 9 - Four Wives

From WikiIslam, the online resource on Islam
Jump to: navigation, search
This page contains content of a humorous nature
Continue at your own peril

Farsideology pencil.gif Lesson 9 – Teaching Islam to Boys

Farsideology ogre3.gif Teacher speaking:

Today class, we will study the place of women in the household. Because of the evil of modernity, it is financially impossible for a devout Muslim husband to maintain four wives in four different dwellings. So he is left with the bleak reality of having four wives living in one house. As we recite verse 4:34 from the holy Quran ten times, let us note that good women should be obedient to their husband and that men are in charge of women.

Farsideology 1-newpage35.gif Children reciting in unison:

Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.

Farsideology ogre3.gif Teacher speaking:

To take charge of your four wives, you must organize the household under a rigid plan where each wife will know her daily duties. By performing their duties, your wives will be obedient to you and to Allah. Today’s lecture will be a blueprint on how to organize your wives for a successful marriage.

Farsideology blueprint.gif The Organization of the Wives and their Daily Duties

Farsideology cleaning.gif Cleaning The House Duties

You should choose the wife who would be happy mopping the floors Farsideology wischen.gif ; washing the windows Farsideology fensterputz.gif ; vacuuming the carpets Farsideology staubsauger.gif , and cleaning the bathrooms.Farsideology e0101.gif

However, that wife should not be able to read, or you could have a long wait Farsideology hurryup.gif at the bathroom door.

Farsideology gardener.gif The Children Duties

You should choose the wife who gets pleasure feeding the children Farsideology u030.gif ; changing diapers Farsideology l018.gif ; and sewing clothes Farsideology f030.gif . However, that wife must not be possessed by a jinn Farsideology demon3.gif ; or you could end up with a deviant kid. Farsideology 299-familie.gif

Farsideology chef.gif The Kitchen Duties

You should choose the wife who is the best cook. She will cook the meals Farsideology 571-essen.gif ; wash the dishes Farsideology chores washingup.gif ; and shop at the grocery store Farsideology einkaufen.gif

However, that wife must not have any Japanese cooking experience, or you could end up with a ginsu knife in your head. Farsideology sterb089.gif

Farsideology washmachine.gif The Laundry Room Duties

You should choose the wife who enjoys washing clothes Farsideology waschmaschine.gif ; ironing clothes Farsideology buegeln.gif ; and hanging Farsideology waesche.gif and removing Farsideology strik.gif garments from a clothes line.

However, that wife must not have psychopathic tendencies or you could end up in the dryer. Farsideology vaskemaskin.gif

Farsideology torch1.gif Homework Assignment

1. Write Farsideology 2-writer.gif the following verse 50 times and recite it Farsideology 1-talking.gif 10 times to your sisters.

HADEETH 26. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said: The rights of the husband on the wife are so great that if pus flows on the husband's body and the woman licks it clean, then too his rights will not be fully fulfilled.

2. Ask your sister if she will lick the pus off the body of her future husband. Farsideology eck35.gif

Kind Regards,

Farside Farsideology bek028.gif

Farsideology is a collection of FFI Forum posts submitted by user Farside.

Farsideology Wizard-small.gif Farsideology Home What people say about Farsideology: "By far the most amusing posts I have seen."  (more comments)