Jam (former Muslim)
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Testimony of Leaving Islam
Hi everyone. Hopefully this isn't too long a read!
I've been brought up in a average Muslim home in the UK. I don't consider my parents to be strict or modern Muslims, just somewhere in between. However true to Muslim style, my freedom to go out or meet whoever I want is restricted, as is my mind's natural inclination to doubt blind belief and ask questions. Prior to frequenting this site, I had questioned my faith a few times but was really good at making excuses for Islam as I had been trained to do. I defended tasteless passages of the Quran relating to women with the explanation that 'life is a test'. But deep inside I always felt something was not 100% right. I voiced this to my female Muslim friends, who acknowledged that various issues in relation to Islam and women did make them feel unsure at times, but they were quick to once again remind me that all the troubles women face are merely a test to see if we will obey Allah. It didn't make sense to me or feel fair in any way that women could:
- potentially be 1 of 4 wives
- have no control over divorce, while a Muslim husband can say 'i divorce you' 3 times and its all over
- not marry out of Islam and marry a Christian or Jewish man at least
- only have half the inheritance her brother would
- be beaten if her husband feared disobedience from her
and then be rewarded in heaven with the Muslim husband she was married to, while he would have her plus 70 virgins. Subhanallah. While a Muslim man has it easier than her on earth and gets more than her in heaven.
Still, I told myself things might change once we got to heaven. Allah might realise that women don't like being cheated on, in this life or the next, and that women might actually get given equality. Perhaps the Quran was translated wrong. Perhaps the mullahs were interpreting things wrong and needed to look at how it was intended by Muhammad. Perhaps, perhaps.. But Asthagfirulla, Islam cannot be wrong. Islam should not be questioned. So I put my thoughts away and let 'faith' take over again.
And then this site happened to me. At first everything I read angered me. Dumb kafirs, they're going to rot in hell. So I read on as a way to entertain myself. What are these people doing questioning such a great faith, such a great man Muhammad who brought Islam? The message is of peace and love! Sure there are some things that I might be uncomfortable with, mostly relating to the treatment of women, but if we don't believe we'll end up in hell! And so one day, it snapped. Why would a perfect religion make me uneasy in the least? Have a holy book that treats women in a way that makes them question their worth? I didn't like it. I didn't like it at all.
Weeks passed as I read various sections of this forum. The more I read, the more I realised I had been blinded dumb by brainwashing, to believe that Islam and Muhammad are perfect. The truth is, it isn't. It's far from it. I hate that I was so blind and made excuses for Islam, when Islam never gave me respect for being a woman.
It is so refreshing to see ex-Muslim women on here stating how Islam's rules on the treatment of women is wrong. I'm so glad women are finding their courage and voices to let the world know how shamefully Islam views us. The last thing I must say is that I find it amazing how people on here know more about Islam than Muslims themselves. I guess the more you know about Islam and Muhammad, the more you want to run away from it.
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