Khaled (former Muslim)
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[Letter from Khaled to Ali Sina]
Testimony of Leaving Islam
For the reasons stated above, many Saudi fathers ask for double marriages' that is: give me your daughter and I will give you my daughter or sister and so on. In this way, they feel comfortable, that is: we will protect his honour if he protects ours. This is how people in our society use women for their own benefit when they need money, or when they need new wives. There are some Saudi women who earn wages, but the money they get goes to the pockets of their fathers or husbands. For the fear that their daughters salary might be appropriated by their husbands, many Saudi fathers do not want their daughters married. To me, this might be another reason why my father has literally put a ban on the marriage of my sisters.
So, how do my sisters live in this society?
As Saudi women, my sisters go through extraordinary suffering. They have no right whatsoever to manage their lives by themselves. They are totally dependent on my father, on me and their other brothers. They cannot go anywhere alone, by themselves. Whenever anyone of them ventures outside, some men (brother or father) must accompany her as her protector and minder. They cannot even go out for such events like accident, hospital emergency, etc. Believe me, when they need to go to a hospital, they have to call my brother to take them there. He has to come from another city, 300km afar. Because they cannot drive (women in Saudi Arabia are banned from driving cars and are not allowed to go with non mahram) and my father cannot drive, my sisters have no choice but to undergo such unspeakable ordeal of agony. No matter how much urgent and emergency their case, they must wait for their mahram (in this case, their brother) to take them to hospital. There is no way out for them. Since my father does not know how to use an ATM, when any of my sisters wants to withdraw money from ATM, she must handover her card to a stranger (a man) to withdraw money for her. When my sisters want to do regular shopping, they must hand over the money to a stranger and he will charge whatever price he wishes. These are just a few examples of the plights Saudi women go through in their daily lives. Sometimes I do think about leaving my job just to stay with them.
So, you might say: why not take them out of Saudi Arabia? This is utterly impossible. In Saudi Arabia , to secure a passport, a woman must have the written permission from her mahram (father, brother or husband). Obtaining a passport is not enough for a Saudi woman to travel alone. Her father (in case she is unmarried) must sign special papers to permit her to go on a voyage on her own. Being illiterate, my father will never allow his daughters to leave Saudi Arabia. I am absolutely certain of this.
Sometimes, I really wonder why such an unbearable torment has been imposed on our women. My sisters cannot do anything without the permission and assistance of my father or brother. They are at home all the time, watching television. There is no sport for them to play, no work to attend to, no hope and nothing to live for. The reality is that they are incarcerated in the biggest prison in the world: Saudi Arabia; the land of the pure, unadulterated Islam.
One might legitimately ask: why all these happen to Saudi women? Who is to be blamed for this loathsome ordeal perpetrated on our women? It is quite easy to blame the silly, inane Saudi laws, the wide-spread illiteracy prevalent among the Saudi people and the archaic traditions for the hopeless condition of our women. But think again. All these factors are firmly rooted in Islam. It is Islam which is clearly the culprit. It is the Islamic laws in Saudi Arabia which have rendered our women chattels of men, forced them into their servitude and have completely robbed their dignity, honour and respect they should deserve as women. To say the least, Islam has shaken and shamed the very basic foundation of womanhood.
Islam provides complete authority to a father to control his daughter/s. He has full control to give her in marriage, to ban her from social life or even to kill her. You might be shocked to learn that a Saudi father can kill his daughter with complete impunity. Please know that even when he kills his daughter, government will not kill the father because she is his probity. According to Sharia, the government is not allowed to kill a father if he kills his daughter or son for any reason. In Islam, a daughter cannot marry without her father's permission it is haram. In nutshell, in Islam, a father is a holy man, a commander and a petulant dictator. Even when he is illiterate, obdurate, unjust and insensible, their children especially the daughters, can do nothing against him.
So, in my case what can I do?
The straightforward answer to this question would be: nothing, I can do virtually next to nothing to change the situation. If I file a case against my father, the religious judge will ask him, Why don't you let your daughters get married? My father's vague answer will be: "These girls are my responsibility (that is, under my safe custody), and Allah will punish me if I don't choose good husbands for them." As a proof of his sincere effort he might even produce evidence that all the men he had sought were smokers and also will bring witnesses that they were also non-praying (in mosque) Muslims. This will completely silence the Islamic judge. He will find no ground to chastise my father; instead, he might impose punishment on me for not respecting my father and his decisions.
With such anguish and frustration in my heart, I am patiently waiting for the death of my father. Once he dies, the control of my sisters will automatically transfer to me. Their ownership will officially be in my name. I shall be their new possessor just like cars, houses, goats, camels etc. Then I shall be completely free to do with them whatever I wish Islam gives me all the authority. I could take them to Hell or to Heaven wherever I desire.
Readers: please do not feel sorry or pity for my sisters. Compared to many other Saudi women, they are quite lucky' they can visit shopping centres, once or twice a year. They can use make-up and they can even listen to music. The best freedom they have is that they can choose Television channels they like to watch. For many Saudi women, this is a great privilege, if you did not know.
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