Nirmitobbyo (Former Muslim)
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Testimony of Leaving Islam
I've always had critical thoughts on most of the rules and customs of my religion, but was also very comfortable with my own stand on the faith. When I was in my teens I never studied the Qur'an or Hadith in my own language, so at that time I had little knowledge of Islam.
I always believed in freedom of speech and freedom of expression, as long as it is non-violent in form. I started studying the books of my formal belief system and realized my religion does not support any of these views and it is actually very aggressive towards criticism. It does not give women the appropriate respect and liberty, and the reading of some Qur'an verses reveal a really violent ideology that debunks the main motto of Islam - peace. Eventually I found myself to be a non religious person because Islam was not compatible with my personal moral thoughts, but I still considered myself to be a spiritual person.
As the question regarding "who is my creator" was always at the back of my mind, I started reading about evolutionary science, and was very satisfied with the current theories of the origin of life, and evidence that follows the theory of evolution. This resulted in me leaving my non-rational spiritual side and very recently I have started accepting myself as an atheist. I am still studying and I have a long way to go to achieve as much as knowledge regarding the origin of life, origin of universe, alternative cultural system to religion.
From a cultural point of view, I still consider myself a part of the Muslim community, as most of my beloved family and friends are devoted moderate Muslims. I am happy with some "everyday customs" that I inherited from my Islamic back ground (like personal hygiene, distribution of wealth among the needy, respecting and taking extensive care of elders, etc.). These are some social behavior that are very much implemented in Muslim society with force or via applying social shame. Though I do not agree with applying any kind of pressure on someone to follow these customs, I still highly appreciate these behaviors in my society.
I do not find Islam or any religion to be the proper guide line for my life, and I do not find any religion (that I have studied so far) to answer the question, why there is a God at all necessary in our life. I do not believe in any - all powerful, all loving, angry "God." I am an atheist, but I will try to keep my non-theistic thoughts to myself because there are a lot of radical Muslims in my motherland who will not hesitate to harm me or my family if I were to denounce Islam publicly. But I will never stop speaking out against any illogical, inhumane practice of Islam.
I wish Muslims who study their religion and choose to maintain their faith in Islam were more tolerant, in addition to those moderate Muslims who just recite the Qur'an without understanding it. I wish Muslims all the best, but Islam is not my cup of tea.
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