Questions to Ask a Muslim (Humor)

This page contains content of a humorous nature Continue at your own peril

A fully referenced and less humorous take on this article can be found here.

Alcohol

1. Does the wine in heaven contain alcohol? What is the alcohol percentage? I might become interested in Islam after all.
2. Are there bars and stuff in heaven or is it just rivers?
3. Can someone get a 130% alcohol drink in heaven? Or do physical laws apply in the supernatural heaven too?
4. Why does Allah keep changing his mind on whether alcohol is legal or not in the Qur'an?
5. Does the Qur'an also forbids the marula fruit which contains alcohol in its natural form?
6. When used in moderation, there are numerous benefits in the consumption of alcohol. Shouldn't Allah have only prohibited its abuse rather than give us an outright ban?
7. If life is a test, shouldn't alcohol be legal in Saudi Arabia so Allah could test Saudis? Isn't banning it in any Muslim country the same as cutting the forbidden fruit tree and interfering in Allah's affairs?

Allah

1. Why do Muslims need to resort to a variety of hoaxes and photoshopped pictures to prove Allah is real?
2. Is Allah the god of the Old Testament?
3. The Qur'an says Mary had a son without a consort, so why can't Allah have a son? Is he impotent?
4. Muslims say the entire Bible is corrupted. Shi'ites say Sunni hadiths are corrupted. Baha'is say the Qur'an is insufficient. When will Allah stop confusing mankind?
5. Why doesn't Allah arrange a few stars at night to make them read "Islam is the true religion"?
6. Only organisms have feelings and thus desire appreciation. Why would an omnipotent being like Allah want to be praised or worshiped?
7. How do Muslims know there's only one God? Aren't deities intelligent, so could co-exist without quarrelling?
8. Did you know that 1 of Allah's 99 names translates as the Deceiver ? Why believe any such deity?
9. Who created Allah? If Allah does not have to be created, why can't the universe also not have to be created?
10. Why does almost every description of Allah also equal non-existence? (i.e. incorporeal, immaterial, ineffable, unfathomable, incomprehensible, etc.)
11. If Allah is all-knowing is there anything we can do to surprise him? If not, why does he react so often to what we do?
12. If Allah is almighty, can he create a rock so big that he can’t lift it?
13. If Allah is omnipotent (able to do everything), can he fart?
14. Comparing the Earth to the Universe is like comparing a drop of water to the Ocean. Humans live on this drop of Ocean (Universe). Why would Allah who has the power to create this universe, be so much worried about such a small thing like all humans worshiping him?
15. If nobody has seen Allah, its sex cannot be determined. Why do we still address it as a male?
16. If Allah is omnipresent does he exist in donkey's feces?
17. If Allah knows everything, why did he create Iblis who one day will make him angry?
18. Why is Allah obsessed with being obeyed?
19. How can Allah become angry if he's perfect?
20. Can Allah do everything? If so, can he commit suicide?
21. Why does Allah 'test' us? Isn't he all-knowing?
22. How do you know that Allah doesn't love atheists more and that they passed the real test of skepticism?
23. Why would Allah have to bribe his followers by promising them loot?

Apostasy

1. Why should I convert to a religion which kills apostates?
2. Why do so many people still leave Islam even though they receive death threats for doing so?
3. How will we know if Islam is a true religion when all the apostates get killed?
4. Would you trust a political party which doesn't let ex-members speak out? if not, why would you trust Islam when you know what shari'ah does to apostates?
5. If Allah wants apostates to be executed, why doesn't he do it himself? Does he need our help in fulfilling his desires?
6. Many people who leave Islam become atheists. Why aren't there any convincing arguments for the existence of God in the Qur'an?
7. Why is there no compulsion in religion when the punishment for apostasy is death?

Arabic language

1. What if you are slightly dyslexic or have Attention deficit disorder and cannot learn Arabic? Should you give up on the Qur'an?
2. Non-Arabs; why do you force your children to memorize the Qur'an (something they don't understand), instead of making them understand it first?
3. Why did Allah not reveal the Qur'an in a language more widely spoken on earth such as English, Mandarin, Spanish, Hindi, Urdu or Russian?
4. Classic Arabic is missing vowels and dots. Why didn't Allah reveal his final message in a language that was fully developed? Is he stupid?
5. Why is Arabic only difficult to understand or translate when a kafir criticizes the Qur'an?
6. Does Allah only understand Arabic? Can I pray salat in my native language Swahili?
7. Why does the Qur'an not specify whether you can recite Qur'anic prayers in your native language? did Allah forget only a fraction of humans speaks Arabic?
8. If the Qur'an is the last testament of God, why was it delivered only in a now dying form of Arabic - a language only a small fraction of the world, including native Arabic speakers and Muslim scholars, could speak?
9. If I am in Heaven and am not a native Arabic speaker, how will I understand my neighbors? Will there be a universal language in Heaven?
10. There are many Arabic dialects such as Egyptian, Gulf, Eastern Arabic, Maghrebi and dozens of others. Which one did Allah want us to use to interpret the Qur'an?

Body Parts

1. Muslims believe that our body parts will testify our sins in the hereafter. Is that true for donated body parts as well?
2. Brain transplants will eventually be possible. Where would the soul end up then?
3. If person A dies and person B eats person A, the body parts of person A will become the body parts of the person B. What will happen to the body parts of person A on Judgment day?
4. Would God really tell his followers to cut off the hands and feet at opposite ends of those who fight the Muslims?
5. If Allah has already created the Universe, how has been spending his time for the last few thousand/million years. Shouldn't he come and visit us, his human creation, in person?
6. Why didn't Allah create us circumcised if he wants us that way?

Clothing

1. Scholars in Muslim majority countries such as Tunisia and Turkey have banned the hijab citing the Qur'an. Some scholars say the burqa (with face-veil) is obligatory. Why does everybody interpret hijab verses differently?
2. Why does Allah forbid silk for men? Why does he care what clothing material you have on?
3. Why does Allah care what type of clothes you wear when going on Hajj? (namely the ihram)
4. Why does Allah care whether your garment can reach below your ankles?
5. What's up with those khaki skirts for men? I mean, seriously!

Creation

1. Isn't creation of the universe a very easy task for Allah? Why should we thank Allah for something he didn't really put much effort in doing it?
2. What did Allah create wisdom tooth for? Did he want us to suffer?
3. If everything has been created by Allah, are Satan or the Jinn also his creations?
4. Isn't making all women menstruate, suffer pregnancy and become stupid as a punishment for Eve's transgressions in the garden, just a little sexist? What about Adam? He ate the fruit too!
5. Did Adam and Eve have immune systems? If so, why? If not, when did humans develop them and how long did that take?
6. Did Adam and Eve have a navel?

Disasters in the Muslim world

1. Why does Allah mostly target Muslim majority countries in earthquakes?
2. While non-Muslims provide most of the aid after a natural disaster, Allah does nothing. Does he abandon his people on purpose and wish to humiliate them?
3. Why doesn't Allah prevent Mosques from being desecrated during earthquakes in Muslim countries?
4. Why do Muslims accept aid from non-Muslims? Didn't Allah tell you not to take kafir as “friends and protectors”?
5. Kashmir is divided between India, Pakistan, and China . Why in the 2005 earthquake did Allah destroy Pakistan-controlled part of Kashmir rather than Hindu and Buddhist majority regions?

Fatimah

1. Fatimah married Ali when she was 12 and she died when she was 18. She gave birth to at least 5 children in these 6 years. That doesn't look so cool, does it? Even a camel would die living like that.
2. Fatimah was born 5 years after Hijra. Muhammad married Khadijah when he was 25 and she was 40. Muhammad claimed prophet hood when he was 40, therefore Khadijah would have been 60 when she gave birth to Fatimah. Why do Muslims hide this amazing miracle? Or in other words who the hell's daughter was Fatimah?

Funny

1. If Allah orders someone to get him coffee and the guy refuses, do we all have to go back to Earth to start this crap all over again?
2. What if I dare Allah to create someone as powerful as himself or otherwise he's be a coward, would he comply?
3. What would Allah do if I threw a westside hand gesture up at him?
4. Is it Halaam to act like a weirdo? (Halaam = Haraam + Halaal in one)
5. Little children may believe in Cinderella talking to birds and mice and stuff. What makes you smarter than a child if you believe that Suleiman, as the Qur'an says, was talking to ants?
6. The Qur'an says Allah will be carried by a few angels while sitting on his throne. Can't the guy walk by himself?
7. We have telescopes that can see things that are millions of light years away, and we still haven’t discovered God. If the Buraq could deliver Muhammad to Allah, then it has a speed of millions of light years per hour. Why didn't Allah just send a UFO to Muhammad to fetch him?
8. Does Allah love pigs?
9. Would you rather eat poison (a small quantity which won't kill you) or a little bit of baked ham?
10. Why doesn't any one of many recent suicide bombers who are now in heaven, ask Allah for a PC and make an email address or make a website there to inform us of their present situation now that they are in the heaven, and send us photos about the good scenery of Heaven and their 72 beautiful Houris (or at least tell us that they really live in Heaven)?
11. How is Qur'an any different from Harry Potter when you have Gog and Magog, Dajjal, Mahdi, Beast from the East and other cartoon characters?
12. If I'm taking a dump, can Allah see me?
13. If I often get unwanted erections, is it okay if I masturbate to get limp and avoid embarrassment?

Geography/ Astronomy

1. Where did Dhul-Qarnayn find Ya'juj and Ma'juj (Gog and Magog)? We can't locate them using our GPS.
2. The Qur'an says the Earth is like a rug. No one has ever seen a spherical rug. Was it hard for Allah to use the word "Kurah" (Arabic for spherical) before the word "Earth" like all Arabic texts do today? Perhaps Allah did not know that the Earth is spherical.
3. Why is it that every year Muslims on opposite sides of Earth can't agree when Ramadan starts? Did Allah use outdated astronomical calculations because He thought Earth was flat?
4. We’ve gone to the Moon and didn't find the invisible rope. Why is that?

Hadiths

1. Sunnis say 'our hadiths are true as we reject any narrator that lies even once in his lifetime'. But how can you always know his inner integrity and sincerity? Or what if he's two-faced?
2. Hadiths have caused major issues in Islam. Some follow Sunni hadiths, some follow Shia hadiths, some follow their own separate hadiths, some follow very specific hadiths and some reject hadith altogether. Why has Allah not clarified things in the Qur'an?
3. Today there are dozens of ways for determining the authenticity or weakness of a hadith. Why does Allah allow weak hadiths to mix with true hadiths, and why doesn't the Qur'an tell us which hadith are trustworthy and which isn't?
4. If people cannot even agree on whether the 1969 moon landing happened, what makes you think Bukhari hadiths compiled more than a thousand years ago by someone born 200 years after Muhammad are authentic?
5. Why does your most trusted authentic Hadith Bukhari have so many contradictions?
6. Who gave Imam Bukhari and Muslim bin Hajjaj authority to compile hadith?
7. Was the classification of Hadith as Sahih (authentic) and Daeef (weak) authorized by Allah or by men?
8. The hadith contains many hadiths on grave punishments. Why have we never seen it happening in real life though?
9. Who decided that the hadith should be limited to six collections and when was this decided?

Health

1. If someone has multiple personality disorder, which personality is judged?
2. Very young children have been known to be transgender. Why does Allah not address this?

Heaven

1. Is the milk of those milk rivers in heaven cow’s milk? How many cows does it take for Allah to produce all that milk?
2. Won't there be jealousy if some people can get to the 7th heaven and some can't?
3. Will Muslims not get bored with rivers of wine, virgins, gold etc. after a quadrillion years in Heaven?
4. What would you do if you are with your 72 virgins and your mom comes in stunned and shocked?
5. The Qur'an says whatever you want will be available for you in Heaven. Can we ask Allah to let us be the God of the Universe for a few days instead of him?
6. If I am in Heaven and ask for the blackest box ever and then Osama bin Laden who is another heavener asks for a blacker box, will he get it?
7. If I am in Heaven and ask for the power to create my own universe, will I get it?
8. The Qur'an says that everything a believer desires will be available to him in Heaven. Does that include sex with Allah himself?
9. What will happen to transsexuals in Heaven? Will female-to-male transsexuals be given houris? Will male-to female transsexuals be women in Heaven?
10. If I ask for a KFC meal in Heaven will I get it? Even with the trademark?
11. If somebody wishes to die in Heaven, will his wish be granted?
12. If I’m in heaven and ask to have sex with one of Muhammad’s wives, will Allah grant my wish?
13. If I am in Heaven and ask for a drink that is cooler than the absolute zero, will I get it?
14. If I wish for the latest book about string theory in Heaven, will Allah give it to me, even if this book is copyrighted?
15. If I ask Allah to give me an infinitely long penis in Heaven, would he?
16. If I am in Heaven and wish to be cloned, will Allah grant my wish? Does this mean that Allah can clone me? What about the ethical part of cloning? Does this make Allah unethical?
17. How can bodies in Heaven overcome the aging process? Does Allah have anti-aging agents? He could make a fortune by selling them on Earth.

Hell

1. After death the infidels will be tortured by a bald snake. Is it the same snake from the Egyptian myths (Apep)?
2. How do you know Muslims won't go to hell for the crime of not using common sense?
3. Why does Allah hand out an infinite punishment for a finite crime?
4. What will Muslims do if their friend or family member is in eternal Hell? Forget about it and return to their 72 virgins?
5. Hypothetically speaking, if you were a deity, would you torture people for not believing in your existence?
6. Will an atheist go to Hell even if he was the best person in the world and had the best morals you've ever seen?
7. On the Day of Resurrection, wont you even feel a little bit of guilt when Allah spares you from hell-fire by allowing you to throw Jews and Christians into hell instead?
8. How can Heaven be utter bliss when you know that people you love and care about are burning in Hell?
9. If all non-believers go to hell, then everyone who died before the religion was revealed would end up in Hell. Why were they never given a chance?
10. Do you think Allah will send any child to Hell, if it is non-Muslim or behaves badly?
11. Do you really think a merciful God and an eternal Hell go along in the first place?
12. If our souls are not physical, how can we burn in Hell?
13. Are the likes of Albert Einstein, Mother Theresa, Gandhi, Cyrus, Dr. Martin Luther King, Mandela going to hell for not becoming a Muslim?
14. In Islam, committing suicide means eternal hell. But does someone really deserve eternal torture just because he was too depressed to live?
15. What about agnostics? Will they go to heaven or hell?

Hijab

1. Do you have to wear a hijab in front of an intersexual or third gender person?
2. If you're in the presence of a lesbian or bisexual girl, should you put a hijab on in front of her?
3. If a guy is asexual, can you take off your hijab in front of him?
4. If the hijab makes a girl look more prettier than usual, should she wear hijab?
5. If Hijab and niqab is good for the society, why are there so many homosexuals in the Arabian peninsula?
6. If Hijab is good for the society, how come no secular or non-Muslim sociologists or psychologists have affirmed this fact?
7. Why did female dress get more conservative and strict as Wahhabis took power?
8. If a niqabi girl is in front of a male florist and wants to smell a flower, should she remove the face veil?
9. If a niqabi girl is at a restaurant with pasta and doesn't want a take-away, should she remove her face veil?
10. Instead of hijab can a girl just make herself look ugly?

Homosexuality

1. Why did Allah create gay people if he is going to torture them for it later? Or is Allah just a kinky fellow?
2. Does Allah really want homosexuals to be put to death for expressing what they feel, often against what they wish they felt?
3. I have a male slave. Can I practice al-'Azl with him?

Islamic sects

1. Didn't Muhammad say only 1 out of 73 sects go to heaven and the rest to hell? What chances have you got?
2. Surah 5:3 says Islam was perfected. If so, why are there so many sects?
3. Why do you deny the prophecy of Mirza Ghulam Ahmed?
4. Why do you deny the prophecy of Bahá'u'lláh?
5. Why do you deny the prophecy of Rashad Khalifa?
6. Why didn't Muhammad appoint a leader before his death to avoid Shi'ites and other sects splitting up from Sunnis?

For Sunnis

1. Is the term 'Sunni' mentioned in the Qur'an?
2. What do you think about mut'ah and misyar?
3. Why do you criticize Shi'ites for Mut'ah when Sunnis practice Misyar which is essentially the same thing?
4. If Shi'ites are wrong, why did Allah allow Ali and his Shi'ite army to defeat the Sunnis at three separate battles of Bassorah, Siffin and Nahrawan?
5. Why do Salafis always seem so serious?
6. Why do Salafis and Wahhabis destroy graves of Muslim scholars?
7. Why do some of you try to distance yourself from Salafis (or "Wahhabis") in front of kafir, when they are the most pious Sunni Muslims? Are you ashamed of the Salaf (first 3 generations of Muslims)?

For Shi'ites

1. Be honest. Aren't you a little embarrassed by the name of your sect or do you enjoy referring to yourself as a Shi'ite?
2. Why doesn't Allah and Imam Zaman heal Ali Khamenei's hand?
3. If Allah wanted Ali to be the substitute after Muhammad, why did he fail in his plan?
4. Do you honestly believe slicing children's foreheads with a blade on Ashura isn't child abuse?
5. Instead of legalizing mut'ah, why don't you simply just legalize prostitution?
6. Why do you curse people (such as sahaba) who died many centuries ago?

For Ahmadis

1. Which death is more humiliating for a prophet of Islam; being crucified or dying of diarrhoea in a public toilet?
2. Why do you claim there are 200 million of you when in reality there are only 10 million Ahmadis worldwide?
3. Considering Ahmadis believe only they are true Muslims, does it surprise you that you've been declared a kafir by Muslims the world-over?

For Baha'is

1. Two alternative Baha'i organizations have been sued by the Baha'i Faith organization for using the word "Baha'i" to describe their beliefs. That's like the Catholic Church suing Protestants for calling themselves "Christians". Do you agree that this makes your faith look ridiculous and petty?
2. You believe that eventually all people and nations should come under the theocratic rule of the infallibly inspired Baha'i Universal House of Justice. Caliphate and Shari'ah anyone?
3. In the Kitáb-i-Aqdas (Most Holy Book) Baha'u'llah limits the number of wives to 2, but he had 3 wives. Hypocrite much?
4. Bahá'u'lláh was a polygamist who allowed men to have up to 2 wives, so why is polygamy forbidden by Baha'i law?
5. In the Kitáb-i-Aqdas (Most Holy Book) Baha'u'llah commands that a thief should have a visible mark put on his forehead after the third offense. And you think this barbarian is the greatest Manifestation of God?
6. Being such a new faith, you'd expect it to incorporate many liberal ideals. So why are homosexual relationships forbidden and homosexuality seen as a handicap that should be treated? Was Baha'u'llah a homophobe?
7. In the Kitáb-i-Aqdas (Most Holy Book) sodomy is forbidden. What if the wife enjoys it too?
8. Abdu'l Baha and Shoghi Effendi are both infallible, so why can't they decide if Confucius was or was not a Manifestation?
9. You believe all the greatest faiths founded by Manifestations differ only in non-essential aspects of their doctrines. Who do you think you are fooling with this tripe?
10. If Baha'u'llah is the apex of all previous Manifestations, why can't he walk on water or split the moon?
11. Each Manifestation is more perfect than the previous one...really? You honestly believe Muhammad's teachings are superior to Christ's or Buddha's?
12. Why do you think Muhammad was so great, when his followers are killing you? Doesn't this suggest that there's something wrong with his teachings?
13. Buddha was a monotheist and a prophet? Excuse me while my sides split from laughter.
14. You believe Manifestations are all sinless. Moses, Abraham and others would disagree. Who are we to believe; them or your nonsensical beliefs?
15. In "Baha'u'llah and the New Era" (official Baha'i text) Abdu'l Baha ("Slave of Baha", the infallible guide and eldest son of Baha'u'llah) stated that the Kingdom of God would be established on earth by 1957. Where is it, and why has this statemant been removed from the 1970 republication?
16. Bab declared Mirza Yahya (Baha'u'llah's brother) as his successor and presented Baha'u'llah as an inferior. Why do Baha'is suppress this fact?
17. If Baha'is are so peaceful, why was the faith founded on violence and assassinations between supporters of Mirza Yahya and Baha'u'llah?
18. You believe Christianity was perverted during the first century (as per Shoghi Effendi's claim). Isn't this a little hypocritical coming from a faith that suppresses source materials and revises the writings of deceased authors in futile attempts to make your absurd beliefs match historical reality?
19. Abdu'l Baha "excommunicated" practically all his closest relatives and deprived them of their income from Baha'u'llah's estate after his fathers death. Do you agree that your infallible guide was a cruel heartless ignoramus?
20. Based on the example set by the infallible Abdu'l Baha, Covenant-breakers (heretics and apostates) are often treated unkindly and ostracized by other Baha'is. Maybe your faith is not so different to mainstream Islam after all?

For Quranists

1. Why do you deny the hadith? Is it because you're ashamed that your prophet was a mass-murdering pedophile?
2. Does it bother you that even without the hadith, the Qur'an sanctions pedophilia, domestic abuse, and many other crimes? Shouldn't you embrace your apostasy and get rid of the Qur'an?
3. Why do some of you accept the hadiths that make Muhammad look good and reject the ones that make him look bad? Do you enjoy being intellectually dishonest?
4. The historical evidence for Muhammad is found in the hadith and sirat. If you do not accept these sources, how do you know your prophet ever existed?
5. If you reject the hadith, you lose the whole context and order of the Qur'anic revelations. So is there no compulsion in religion or do you have to slay the idolaters wherever you find them? Should I flip a coin?
6. Why would Allah protect the Qur'an, but allow his entire ummah for 1000+ years to be led astray by corrupted hadith? Doesn't that make his protection worthless?
7. I've never met a Quranist in real life. Are you really an embarrassed Sunni who likes to call yourself a "Quranist" when you're on the net?
8. Why do you believe the Qur'an is the uncorrupted word of God, when the narrators of corrupted hadith are the same people who passed down the Qur'an?
9. The Qur'an never explain how to offer salat. Who taught you how to pray?
10. The Qur'an says there should be 3 daily prayers. Who told you to pray 5 times?
11. The Qur'an mentions Abu Lahab. Who is he and why does Allah hate him? (Remember; no peeking at corrupted hadith)
12. Does it make you feel sad knowing that most Muslim thinks you follow a cult and that you're a kafir?
13. What's it like being in an obscure cult? Do you have a secret handshake? Do all ten of you get together on Halloween and dance naked around an open fire?
14. Why accuse the Sunnis and Shi'ites, who've been following hadith for 1000+ years, of innovation, when it's you who's the innovator? Isn't that just a little bit hypocritical?
15. What did Muhammad look like? How many wives did he have and what were their names? What were the names of his children? How old was he when he first received his prophethood? When and how did he die? Do you even know anything about your prophet?
16. When you perform Hajj, would you dare announce that you're a Quranist or would it be your dirty little secret?
17. Why do you accept the revelations given to someone who you know nothing about?
18. Did you know that Rashad Khalifa was a lying pedophile and rapist just like your prophet before him?
19. If you don't accept the history behind the compilation of the Qur'an, what makes it different from any other poorly written Medieval text? How do you know that (like The True Furqan) its not an old parody?

Ka'aba

1. Why do Muslims get so excited about a little black meteorite stone at the corner of the Ka'ba?
2. Why do Muslims follow pre-Islamic pagan practices of circling the Ka'aba?
3. Why do you have to circumambulate the Ka'aba seven times? Why not just once? Why not eight or six times?
4. The Black Stone in the Ka'aba has been broken into several fragments. Why did not Allah protect this important 'holy' stone from damage?
5. Is there any evidence that the Ka'aba is God's house?
6. Why does God want you to walk counter-clockwise around Ka'aba and then run up and down the hills of Al-Safa and Al-Marwah?
7. The Ka'aba was destroyed at least twice after Muhammad's death. Why didn't Allah send birds to protect the Ka'aba then?
8. Why does Allah want you to kiss the black stone and then go to Mount Arafat?
9. Will Allah send birds to save Kaa'ba if infidels launch missiles towards Mecca? In fact Kaa'ba has been attacked twice after Islam. Why didn’t Allah send anything for those attacks?
10. Why doesn’t Allah just make an electromagnetic field around the Kaa'ba to protect it?
11. If the cubical shape was redesigned to be spherical, would you still bow to it?
12. Whenever royalty or important persons come to the Ka'aba, security give them a special place for prayer in the hateem. Why this sort of inequality at the Ka'aba?
13. There are hundreds of cleaners at the Ka'aba who regularly clean away pigeon droppings. If the Masjid al-Haram is truly holy, why does Allah allow birds to defile the mosque?
14. If I went to the Ka'aba and put a cubical instead of a triangle, how would Allah react?

Literacy

1. If Muhammad was illiterate, why does Sahih Hadith such as Bukhari say he used to write letters?
2. Since according to Muslims, literary excellence supposedly proves divine inspiration, was Shakespeare divinely inspired too?
3. Arabic is the language of Allah, but why choose a language which has such varied definitions for various words leading to interpretation problems? Does he enjoy being difficult?

Marriage

1. Why does surah 23:5 allow men to have pre-marital sex with slave girls?
2. Why do many Muslim women disagree with their husband getting a 2nd wife even though Allah has allowed up to four?
3. How many Muslims end up marrying fat ugly women because they never get a chance to see them before the wedding?
4. (women) Do you think its right that a man can divorce for any reason but a woman has to plead her case before a judge?
5. (women) If your husband had 3 other wives, and wanted a groupie, would you comply?
6. Why does Islam ban adoption? What's so evil about adoption?
7. Muhammad said that a woman should nurse a grown man in order to stay in the same house alone. Is that good advice?
8. Why does Allah allow and encourage marriage between cousins? Doesn't he know it causes genetic disorders in offspring?

Menstruation

1. If a girl is on her period, and can't fast during Ramadan, should she tell male family members or eat in secret?
2. Why can a woman on her period not touch the Qur'an? Does the filth go from her vagina to her hands?
3. A woman cannot pray to her creator for a quarter of the time because she is "dirty" and has "a disease". How do you feel about that?

Muhammad

1. Do you think its okay that Muhammad beheaded a whole tribe (banu qurayza) as if they were all guilty? is it okay that even kids with traces of pubic hair were killed?
2. Is it a true sign of being Allah’s Prophet that a man spreads so much fear and so little wisdom?
3. What if Muhammad was simply a popular folk figure who's story was blown out of proportion?
4. Why do you condemn an ordinary person for engaging in pedophilia, but when your prophet does it, you make up excuses and even defend his actions?
5. Why does Muhammad's ascension story sound so strikingly similar to Jesus' ascension? Could it have been a copy-cat story?
6. "Sall Allahu ʿalayhi wa aalihi wa sallam" means "May Allah grant peace and blessings (Salah) to him and his family". Since Allah is God himself, how does it make sense for Allah to send blessings on Muhammad?
7. Since many of Muhammad's own family members didn't believe him, why should we?
8. Why couldn't Muhammad convince his own town Mecca and had to convince people from another town, Medina? Didn't Meccans know him better?
9. Many of the people who were close to Muhammad didn't believe him like Abu Sufyan and Abu Taleb. Why is that?
10. Why is the Qur'an full of verses that say "Muhammad is not crazy"? Why did so many people accuse Muhammad of being crazy?
11. How do you know whether or not Muhammad suffered from schizophrenia?
12. How do you know Muhammad didn't suffer from Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder?
13. How do you know Muhammad wasn't a narcissist?

Pedophilia and child abuse

1. Why do some of you claim sex is only allowed with girls who have had their first menses, when the Qur'an allows sex with pre-pubescent girls?
2. Lina Medina (born September 27, 1933, in Ticrapo, Peru), had her menarche at age 8 months. So is it okay to have sex with an 8 month old baby?
3. Is sex between a 53 year old man and a 9 year old girl, immoral or moral?
4. The most authentic hadiths like Bukhari, Sahih-Muslim, and Abu Dawud confirm that Muhammad fornicated with a 9 year old. So does the trusted tafsir Tabari. So why do some Sunni Muslims ignore or deny this?
5. Are little kids like Aisha safe from the hands of people like Prophet Muhammad and other pedophiles in Heaven?
6. Why do you say there's no compulsion in religion even though the hadith says you should hit kids who don't pray?

Polygamy

1. Why can men have four wives but women have to stick with one husband?
2. Why are four wives allowed but five wives are forbidden?
3. Why did Allah send down a revelation which allows Muhammad to have as many wives as he wants, while earlier allowing only 4 wives for each Muslim?

Politics

1. Do you think it's appropriate that gay princes and slave murderers are custodians of the two holy mosques?
2. Modern Muslims have religious conflict with: Hindus in Kashmir; Christians in Nigeria Egypt and Bosnia; atheists in Chechnya; Baha'is in Iran; Zoroastrians in Iran and Tajikistan; Animists in Darfur; Buddhists in Thailand; each other in Iraq, Pakistan, Somalia and Yemen; Jews in Israel; Why is Islam involved in more sectarian and religious conflict than other religions today?
3. Are you sure you want Europe to become Eurabia and be like the countries you fled from?
4. The symbol of Islam is the moon, but the first man to walk it was sent by a government without a single Muslim senator. Why did Allah allow that?
5. To this day there is sectarian conflict between Sunnis and Shias in Lebanon, Iraq, Yemen and Pakistan. Did Allah plan this?
6. Would a true religion really have bloodthirsty followers such as Osama bin Laden?
7. Why are Muslims often concerned about Palestinian Muslims but not about Iraqis, Yemenis, Sudanese and Pakistanis who get butchered by fellow Muslims?
8. Al-Quds (القُدس Jerusalem) is not once mentioned directly in the Qur'an. So why make such scriptural contentions?

Prophecy

1. Islam makes many prophecies about the end of times, but why are none of the modern technologies prophecized?
2. Who gave Tafsir writers such as Ibn Kathir, al-Qurtubi, al-Tabari the authority to explain what Allah meant by the Qur'an?
3. Since nearly half of the Sharia and Fiqh laws are based on Abu Hurairah and Bukhari why don't you call these 2 men gentlemen Prophets?
4. How much of a god is Allah who made 128,000 failed prophets and then Muhammad with a final message?
5. People such as Nostradamus, Isaac Newton and Einstein had many prophecies so were they divinely inspired too?
6. Can a prophet toss a dice and get 9?
7. There are probably thousands of civilizations in our galaxy alone. Was the Qur'an revealed to them too?

Questions regarding Islam

1. What if your religion is just another hoax?
2. During Eid al-Adha, Muslims celebrate the willingness of Abraham to sacrifice and behead his son at Allah's request. How sick is that?
3. Why did Allah make the Islamic holy day Friday, the Jewish holy day Saturday, and the Christian holy day Sunday? Does he just like to bask in worship for nearly half the week?
4. Why does Allah prefer sending scriptures to desert regions of the world?
5. Why do so many Muslims answer with threats of "you're going to hell" when they face a question they can't answer?
6. Why does the Qur'an only speak about religions which were prevalent in Arabia at the time of its revelation? Why are there no Dharmic or Taoic religions mentioned?
7. Why did Allah not protect Christianity from corruption? Couldn't he get it right the first time? This is like releasing buggy software (Judaism, Christianity) and then finally releasing a software (Islam) that is claimed to work.
8. Why should I convert to a religion that doesn't allow criticism?
9. Muhammad's dad was called Abdallah (meaning Allah's slave). Since Muhammad's dad was a pagan, aren't you simply following a modified pagan religion?
10. Why is Islam the only religion in conflict with all other religions?
11. The Qur'an says faces will turn black if the person is a sinner, and the face will turn white if the person is not (Quran 3:106 & 39:60). In the light of this, what will happen to black people?

Religion

1. Muslims always attack the Christian concept of Original sin and the Hindu/Buddhist concept of Karma. So how do you explain innocent children being born with Aids or being born deformed? Is it "Allah's will" to make innocent children suffer?
2. Why does the Qur'an waste so much time talking about extinct religions such as Sabians, but ignores major religions such as Buddhism?
3. Unitarian Christians believe there is only one God and reject the divinity of Jesus. So what is your position on them?
4. How did Adam and Eve's kids have kids?
5. My college doesn't discriminate against people on grounds such as age, disability, ethnic, gender, marital status, race, sexual orientation, or religious beliefs, so why should Allah?
6. If Islam is so obviously true, why are there between fifteen to twenty million Arab Christians who make up ten percent of all Arabs?
7. The Qur'an claims the New Testament is a book given to Jesus (Qur'an 5.46). However, in reality, it consists of books of Jesus' followers. Why make such a obvious flaw?
8. There are many monotheistic religions before Islam (such as Judaism and Zoroastrianism), and after Islam (such as Bahai and Sikhism), so what is wrong with them specifically?
9. Is there a good reason for choosing monotheism over polytheism, agnosticism, atheism, henotheism, pantheism or deism?
10. If Islam is an Abrahamic religion, then why did it's predecessors NOT need additional Hadith besides the main scripture while Islam does ?
11. When Allah fooled Christians to think Jesus was on the cross, was Allah being a Deceiver?
12. Why did Allah wait 600 years to tell Christians Jesus didn't really die on the cross?
13. Instead of simply saying 'Jesus didn't get resurrected', why didn't Allah PROVE that Jesus didn't get resurrected to avoid 2 billion mislead Christians?
14. The Qur'an says Allah made a man very similar to Jesus and he was the one who was crucified, doesn't that mean Allah has deceived all the Christians? What can we expect from Christians when Allah has fooled them by creating someone similar to Jesus?
15. If Judaism and Christianity and Islam are from the same God, why did God prohibit pork eating for Jews and didn't prohibit it for Christians and then again prohibited it for Muslims? Stoning adulterers to death also was not practiced by Christians and then again was practiced by Muslims. Did God change his mind twice?

Rules

1. If people truly have free will there shouldn't be strict sharia preventing people from executing their free will, right?
2. Why do Muslims scholars create hundreds of rules which have no base whatsoever in the Qur'an?
3. Why can't Muslim scholars agree whether taking pictures is forbidden or permissible by Islam?
4. Why is listening to music forbidden in Islam? Or why can't Muslims agree on its permissibility? Isn't Islam supposed to be clear?
5. Why, according to Sharia, can't a woman drive a car?
6. People date in order to find out the character of a possible spouse. So why does the Allah forbid dating?
7. Why has Allah forbidden taking pictures?
8. Why does Allah care whether you sleep on your stomach?
9. Fifty percent of men worldwide have had extra-marital sex, so should half the men on earth be stoned or lashed?
10. Why has Allah forbidden shaving the beard? Why is he preoccupied with such trivial things?
11. Why in Islam is it forbidden to touch a dog but not a rat, when rats are much more dirty?
12. Why does Allah recommend you to dye your hair? Why the hell does an omnipotent deity care what colour your hair is?
13. Why is alcohol based mouthwash forbidden? Can people absorb enough alcohol through the skin to get drunk?
14. Why is talking to the non-mahram opposite gender forbidden according to Islam?
15. Why does Allah hate tattoos so much and forbids it?
16. Why according to Islam should dogs be killed?
17. Why is there nowhere in the Qur'an that tells women to cover their head or hair?
18. Why does Allah care which foot we enter the toilet with or which shoe we put on first?
19. The sharia has been revised throughout history, so how do you know the one today is legitimate?
20. Why did Allah forbid the playing of chess and masturbation? Aren't these things healthy?
21. Why does Allah care whether you use even or odd numbers of toilet paper or stones in the loo?
22. Why would an omnipotent deity care which hand you use to eat?
23. Did you remember to use an odd number of toilet paper or stones last time you were defecating as Allah commanded?
24. Why did Allah order us to have beards? Didn't he know some Chinese can't grow a beard?
25. Why should we pray? Doesn't Allah already know what we want him to do for us? Do we have to SAY our demands in order for him to take action?
26. Why are we granted free will if our duty in this life to Allah is to do as we are told? We are told to follow rules upon threat of punishment. Is that really free will?
27. Why does Allah want Muslims (if not the entire world) to follow 7th century Sharia law?
28. If circumcision is a command from Allah, shouldn't it be mentioned in the Qur'an?
29. I masturbated on Ramadan night time. Was my fasting invalid?

Science

1. There are a trillion stars in each galaxy and probably a quintillion galaxies in the universe. If Allah is the Lord over all of this, why then does he care if people on a tiny planet bow to him 5 times a day or not?
2. Other religions claim to have scientific miracles too, so wouldn't this mean that the Islamic argument is void?
3. If there truly is science in the Qur'an, why didn't Maurice Bucaille convert to Islam?
4. Is it better to believe the word of a medieval superstitious illiterate merchant or to scientists analyzing years of research since the Enlightenment?
5. What's with all the dinosaur remains in the soil? Why not a single mention in the Qur'an or hadith?
6. Why do alleged claims of compatibility between the Qur'an and science only come AFTER the scientific discovery is made?
7. If Muslims trust Muhammad, why not use his recommended medicines such as camel urine rather than western products?
8. Muhammad said if you eat 7 dates every morning, no poison can harm you. Does that include protection against Anthrax, Arsenic and Cyanide?
9. If the Qur'an and Hadith is so jam packed with science (as Muslims claim) why didn't the owners of these scriptures invent computers, TVs, spaceships, helicopters, ipods, satellites, birth control pills, vaccination for smallpox, telephones, radios, light bulbs, microchips, CDs, playstations, refrigerators, microwaves, stainless steel, plastic, x-rays, polio-vaccine, anti-biotics, heart-transplants, DNA studies etc. ?
10. The Qur'an says the Earth will tell it's stories in the hereafter. Does the Earth have a brain, a mouth and a tongue?
11. Why doesn't Allah find a way to refute human evolution?
12. Muhammad said that black cumin cures all diseases except death. Can it cure AIDS, Polio, Diabetes and Bird Flu among many others?
13. In order to go to hajj you need all sorts of vaccines against disease. Why isn't there some sort of hadith remedy to cope with close proximity crowds and subsequent diseases?
14. If Allah's design is perfect why do humans have a useless vermiform appendix, useless wisdom teeth, and a useless tailbone?
15. Does a couple eating from the forbidden tree, ending up on Earth where their kids would end up having incest make more sense than evolution?
16. Early Islamic books (e.g. Sirat Rasool Ullah) mention that Angel Gabriel was sitting on a donkey. Would he be sitting in a BMW if he was supposed to send revelations today?

Scripture

1. Nobody knows what the Qur'an verse Alif Lam Mim means. So what was the point of putting it in the Qur'an?
2. Why did Allah send four scriptures instead of just protecting the first and avoiding this confusion between followers of different faiths?
3. If the Taurat and Injil were "perfect" and agreed with todays Qur'an but are now corrupted, then why did Allah declare "today i have perfected your religion"? Were the previous revelations sent on other days not perfect?
4. Caliph Uthman had all different copies of the Quran destroyed, so how do you know that his version is the correct one?
5. Muslims say nobody can produce a single chapter like the Qur'an but is there anything extraordinary for example about chapter 109?
6. The earliest found Qur'an did not have diacritical marks, so how can you say the Qur'an is uncorrupted?
7. Is it possible to open a random page in the Qur'an and NOT find a verse of violence in there?
8. If the Qur'an was written by God, why does it fail to convince the whole world that it's really written by God? For example, the theory of gravity, or the existence of cats is convincing enough that everyone believes in it!
9. If Allah knows everything, why did he make the Qur'an so ambiguous? Did he just want Muslims to spend their spare time trying to figure out its meanings?
10. Why does the Qur'an repeat the same things over and over and over?
11. Why do you claim the Bible is corrupt but at the same time proclaim Muhammad is mentioned in the Bible?
12. According to Muslims, Jesus never said he was the son of God. So why is "son of Mary" explicitly added whenever anyone addresses him? Are they telling Jesus something he doesn't already know?

Sex

1. What if a girl is a prostitute because that's the only way she can afford feeding herself and her children? Will she still get punished for selling herself?
2. What if you're a nymphomaniac? Do you still get punished for being promiscuous? If so, do you get equal punishment?
3. Why did Allah make anal sex a taboo? Did he just want Muhammad to enjoy it all by himself?
4. Does Allah really want the children of adulterers to grow up without their parents because they need to be executed?
5. Does Allah really think public whipping is the most enlightened way to deal with those who have sex before marriage?
6. (women) Would you accept your husband's right hand possessions (sex slaves) in your home?
7. Instead of the outdated method of four witnesses to adultery, why not just use DNA samples which non-Muslims invented?

Shahada

1. Why is the whole Shahada nowhere in the Qur'an in a complete sentence? Did Muslims make it up?
2. Why can't Muslims agree on the shahada? Sunnis include Muhammad's name, Shi'ites add Ali's name, and Quranists say its "Aslamtu Li Rabbil Aalameen".
3. Why do you have to add Muhammad's name to the shahadah? Why cant it be limited to "la illaha illalah" (There is no god but Allah)?

Soul

1. Did Laleh and Ladan have two souls?
2. If you are born retarded, does that mean your "soul" is retarded as well?
3. Why does Allah send a soul to the body of a bastard child? What about a retarded child? What about a baby that is going to die after a few hours?
4. Why do babies go to heaven, every soul in heaven should have been tested, babies were not tested, they could just as easily have been destined for hell?

Supernatural

1. In the 7^th century some Arab guy flew on a winged horse to Heaven and was told by God everyone needed to bow towards a cubical in the Saudi desert 5 times. Really?
2. If you believe in invisible demons called 'Jinns' and flying horses called 'Buraq', why don't you believe in unicorns, dragons, yetis, loch ness monsters, big foots and vampires?
3. Why do Muslims symbolically have to stone an invisible devil? Can't God do it himself?
4. Why doesn't Allah show himself or show us all an angel?
5. The Qur'an says there were Magicians doing weird stuff. Does Allah really believe that Witches can do magic?
6. How do you know that the angel Muhammad was talking to was from Allah and was not Satan himself?
7. Why would Allah need angels to send his messages to someone?
8. If there are angels on each shoulder then does it mean they see me naked at night when I change?

The Flood

1. If the story of Noah's ark is true: What did Noah do with all the feces? There wasn't even adequate ventilation. Hell, what did the meat-eating animals eat? And where were the dinosaurs and buraqs in all this?
2. Muslims are not moved by the fact that their God has killed innocent little babies in the most severe massacre of all times, the Noah's storm, and they try to rationalize it by any means. Doesn't that mean their sense of humanity is massively corrupted?
3. If Noah's flood was so big, where did all the water go?
4. Why did Allah flood the earth to remove evil? It didn't work! Evil came right back. Allah should have known that would happen! So why did he bother?

Weird

1. Why does Allah curse people for plucking their eyebrows?
2. Why does Allah love sneezing but hate yawning?
3. Why do Muslims say salaam alaykum (greeting) to each shoulder at the end of prayers?
4. Why did Allah turn sabbath breakers into monkeys and pigs?
5. Muhammad said that anyone who knows the 99 names of Allah will go to Heaven. If a serial rapist and murderer knows the 99 names of Allah, will he go to heaven too? What if I can remember only 97 and forgot the other two?
6. Allah says that anyone who draws a picture of a living thing will go to hell. Doesn't that mean Allah is an ill-tempered spiteful idiot?

Worship

1. What if the scriptures said that prayer consisted of jumping up and down a dozen times consecutively, would you do it?
2. Why doesn't the Qur'an actually say there are 5 declarations of faith? Did somebody make this up?
3. If Allah already knows all my thoughts why would I have to pray?
4. What if I'm halfway through prayers and I remember I forgot to wash my left elbow. Would I have to get up do it all over again?
5. What if bowed in the direction of Jerusalem, will Allah accept my prayer? What about New York?
6. Why do you pray to an invisible deity with gestures that don't make any sense?
7. Why did Muhammad change Qiblah? Couldn't he make his mind up?
8. Why do Muslims keep repeating Allah is greater/greatest in prayers? Does he lack confidence with a need to be reassured?
9. Why do you have to greet or bless Muhammad and Abraham during prayers? Will Allah forget to bless them otherwise?
10. Why are afternoon prayers longer than dawn and sunset prayers?
11. Why in the Hadith does Muhammad have to travel all the way on a winged horse ascension in order to ask God to reduce prayers from fifty to five?
12. Why do you add Muhammad's name to the Shahadah and Adhan, as well as mentioning his name in prayers? Isn't that bid'ah?
13. If God wants to be worshipped so much why would he create babies without limbs?
14. Why didn't Allah mention how Eskimos should fast, since they have months without sunlight or daylight?
15. Why does Allah not accept the prayer of someone who farts? Can he smell it?
16. Why can't Muslims even agree on how to pray?
17. What is the purpose of prayer? What can a finite being on Earth possibly tell an omnipotent and omniscient Allah which he doesn't know already?
18. In which direction should a Muslim say his daily prayers when he is on planet Mars?
19. Which way would you face while praying inside the Ka'aba?
20. Why can't I simply say in my head "thanks God" instead of making bowing gestures with body language as if God has difficulty communicating?
21. Why would you believe in a god who wants to be praised all the time?
22. Why does Allah punish anyone who doesn't love, adore and cherish him? Hasn't he heard of unconditional love?
23. What is the use of Islam if Muslims do not even agree among each other how they should offer their daily prayers?
24. Why do Muslims attempt to build mega mosques in controversial places, such as at the London Olympic site, or at the New York ground zero?
25. Why do Muslims so often go on a violent rampage after friday prayers? Does the damp carpets make you feel irritable?
26. If I'm making love to my wife and we're both nearing orgasm, is it okay if I delay prayer for 5 minutes?
27. Why do Muslims have to look down when they pray? Why aren't they allowed to look up towards "Heaven"? Is Allah shy?

Miscellaneous

1. How come all the Islamic messengers of the Qur'an come from the Middle East?
2. Muslims say 'I bear WITNESS there's 1 God and Muhammad is his messenger'. But have any of you had a first-hand account of Muhammad, or heard and experienced God's attributes personally?
3. There are still unreached Indigenous people today in Latin America, Africa, Asia and Oceania - is it fair Allah ignores them?
4. Does Allah find it funny to create Hermaphrodites or Schizophrenics?
5. Quran 7;16 claims Satan misleads Muslims - so how can we trust Islamic scholars?
6. Where in the Qur'an does Allah promote four Madhabs, each following their own rules?
7. If early Muslims were being persecuted, aren't Muslims doing the exact same thing today to Baha'is and every other minority?
8. Why does SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) occur? Why would Allah allow a baby to live for such a short period of time? Why not just let them not be born in the first place?
9. Before reading and writing were invented (5000BC), what basis did Allah use to judge the people who died before the Hebrew and Greek text (Bible) were written?

   

10. Native American Indians did not have any prophets. Why did Allah leave them alone? How are they going to be judged in the hereafter?
11. If you can help to stop a crime and you don't then you are an immoral person. How can Allah not help to stop crimes and still be moral?

See Also

• Responses to Hundreds of Questions to Ask a Muslim
• 72 Questions about the 72 virgins (also humorous)

External Links

• 60 Questions to ask Muslims