Zanoh (former Muslim)
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Testimony of Leaving Islam
Allow me, kind reader, to share with you my story.
I was unaware of the concept of a god and religion until the age of 6 when I noticed my mother was in the middle of the subjugation stance in her prayer. A child, who loves their parents will tend to mimic what they are doing not out of simple teasing, but because they want to partake in the activities that their parents do as a way of bonding. Well, the response was as soon as my mom was finished, God and Islam was introduced to me in the form of a slap. I didn't know why at the time, for I was only a child, but looking back on it, my mother held her God in high regards that such an act was considered insulting.
As I grew up with the religion of Islam and the concept of God, I was always told that this religion is the true religion and all other religions are deemed false, because the last messenger of the religion declared it so under the divine authority of God. I was always told to read the Qur'an and should I have questions, I should always ask in regards to it. Perhaps I thank the fact that my father (a UK Islamic convert) and mother (born Muslim) were more moderate in approach, for if it weren't for this, my mind, full of fleeting wander, would ask questions that this book had no answers to. It was also strange to me that people had interpretations of a holy book that clearly said it was easy to understand, and the only qualifications for these scholarly interpretations was memorization of the Qur'an and Taqwa (Fear of God). Faith was the huge factor that this religion relied on, and unfortunately for it, I was not a boy of faith.
This is perhaps why I struggled with the religion in general, for I always chose a path of logic and reason. The usual response I had when I asked questions that challenged the religion of Islam (through what I learned in public school) were met usually with retorts like, "Oh you are taking it out of context" and also when I kept persisting, I get the more popular one, "You are weak in the faith." It wasn't just said in my family, it was also said in my Islamic community. I find it odd and ironic that those who preach Islam tend to spout that it is a religion of peace, and that it symbolizes unity. My Islamic community was anything but unified. Power struggles, Racial Background profiling based on country of origin, and Sect prejudice was commonplace. The only thing practically anyone agreed on was "Lectures on Muhammad" and "How wonderful he is for giving Islam". The more I listened to these sermons, the more I began to have a skeptical view (as much as I admit that I didn't want to). It started to sound more and more that this man who claimed to be the last messenger was wanting to be a source of power on earth and used emphasis on the sublime to do it.
My suspicions were confirmed when I began studying in High-school and as I learnt through philosophy and history the works of civilizations prior, I had caught Muhammad red handed. Many claims and "revelations" that have been made were already known by civilizations prior, and what amazed me further was that the Qur'an contradicts modern science facts and it is appalling that modern Islamic apologists and scholars try to deceive their intended audiences all for the sake of the concept of their belief. To this I conclude with a rhetoric: If Allah/God is self-sustaining, why then did it create a universe and then with a blaring human emotion, command a human action of worship? Such concept is one of several thousand contradictions I have come to find. This I wanted to tell my family.
Unfortunately, by the time I figured it out, personal tragedy struck... I lost my mother to cancer when I was sixteen. The funny thing was whenever she argued with me for either trivial or religious reasons, in her anger she blared out that I was a monster, a devil incarnate, and one time it was noted that she loved God more than she loved me. But since I was the last one she saw alive, she confided in me her final thoughts and feelings. She said to me that I was her eyes and joy, and that if she ever committed anything against me, she apologized heavily for it.
How ironic and sad, that the concept of religion's assertion of an all powerful God rewarded my devout mother with months of cruel pain and suffering and that a son she loved most of the time would not only forgive her, but also love her with no strings attached to the very...bitter end...The day she died was the day her death opened up the cage for me to fly... and it was because of this, with her vividly and fondly in my memory, I have conquered many with wit and intelligence that were always my allies to never give up.
My aunts, whom I also grew up with and love, told me a creed that Muslims tend to follow (sometimes shockingly so) to a high degree, "You were born a Muslim, and you shall die a Muslim." If there is one thing nature, logic and reason, and the application of science taught me, it is the courage to openly declare a truth against such a creed, "No. I was born a Human, and I will die a Human, a living and evolved sentient being." For what is more powerful and frightening to religion, is the nature that humanity possesses, to defy and outperform all baseless claims religion has instilled upon the poor masses since its conception.
I am Zaki Hughes, I am an Atheist.
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